Assalamu Alaykum,

Adios 2005...

"We must strive to remember,
what the clouds will never forget"

remembering the tsunami
exploding us
into the shores
of the beginning

a year that passed
all too
soon

senseless suffering

mirrored across
the world
when Katrina
unearthed
America's
poor

paraded for the blind
to see

in between
was more death
at the hands
of man
the cruelest of all

hearts breaking

my baby's first smile

The surge of the most
exquisite love

and knowledge of such
helpless
vulnerability

tasting bravery
and re-learning the word
cancer

my mother's
serenity
as she battled her way
through surgeries
and chemotherapy

un-learning fear

as the earth quaked
and millions more
suffered

my baby learned to
crawl

to say "da da"

and melt my heart
in a million
different
ways

i fell in love
yet again

as bombs shattered more lives

hunger and obesity
fighting for those
left

the american media churning
more irrelevancies

keeping the masses mesmerised

i learned to gaze in wonder

at the
bluest skies

and read eternity
in the most innocent of
eyes

Family trials

against the backdrop of
politics and corruption
more stories unveiled
as evil continues to
stab itself
in the
back

a year of small truths
bubbling
to the smooth surface
of our conscience

a year of little wonders
assuaging
large wounds

little hands
carressing
humanity's cheek

little smiles
exploding
apathetic hearts

a year of little joys
stitched into tapestries
of pain

a year of lost opportunities
that will never
visit again

good byes and sorrows
are buried
with fleeting yesterdays

a new beginning beckons

how can we strive to
re-member

that which will seep sunshine
into this brand
new
day?

posted by Maliha 12/31/2005 01:10:00 PM

. . .

Assalamu Alaykum,

Time

"Time is the twine to tie our lives into parcels of years and months. Or a rubber band stretched to suit our fancy. Time can be the pretty ribbon in a little girl's hair. Or the lines in your face, stealing your youthful color and your hair." He sighed and smiled sadly "but in the end, time is a noose around the neck, strangling it slowly".

-A Fine Balance, by Rohinton Mistry

I don't want to turn this blog into a book review, but when I finally put down this book yesterday I just started crying. It was so depressing! The saddest part about it, was how it is really not a piece of fiction but based on real life. You could taste the bitter reality of the stories he weaves, and till the very end the author relentlessly drives the point home.

There is no happy ending.

Everything we crave for, happiness, luxury, comfort, even love is at best transitory at worst illusive.

The book is based in India in 1975, and I am not sure how to summarize it. A diverse array of characters tailors (who defied their caste system), a woman struggling to define her life and independence, a sheltered boy tasting real life, beggars and their beggar master, the government, caste clashes, corruption, and a depressing dose of stark poverty...the ends to which hunger will drive normal people to do.

I am so depressed by the inanity of my own life, the need to do more and the many excuses I have for not...the illusiveness of that which I yearn for...and the stark superficiality of my very longing.

sigh...

posted by Maliha 12/28/2005 10:23:00 AM

. . .

Assalamu Alaykum,

Reading and Breathing...

Until I feared I would lose it, I never loved to read. One does not love breathing- Harper Lee

In the past year, I have had an incredible amount of time to read. Everytime I nurse my baby, I have nothing to do but pick up a good book and cuddle up. It has been awesome Alhamdullillah, especially following the previous year where I was in an intensive Islamic program reading like crazy as well.

A post here made me think about some works that have really impacted me. I thought I would divide them up by subject matter, and start out with Islamic ones that have really changed me in one way or another.

Islamic Books:
Here are some works that have really shaped my understanding of Islam, fanned my yearning to become better in word and deed, gusted my restless soul to embark on an ardous journey...I am still struggling to become.

a) Ethics of Disagreement in Islam: By Sh. Taha Alwani: In an age of internet cut/paste scholars and random "takfir-ing" of each other, this book is a "must read" for every Muslim.

b)Al Tawhid Implication of thought and life: By Ismail Al Faruqi: This is an amazing book that really outlines the Islamic worldview clearly and contrasts it against others like Christianity, Hinduism, Budhism etc. It doesn't stop at theoretical postulations but goes deep into what a practical manifestation of Tawhid means in all aspects of our life.

c) Let us Be Muslims: By Sh. Mawdudi: Short Khutbah/essays by Al Mawdudi, really simple language, easy to understand and goes right to the heart. I like it, because in the introduction it explains that these were originally preached to peasants in Pakistan. The material is highly relevant to us though..

d) Inner Dimensions of Islamic Worship: By AlGhazali: This is one of the first books that made me open my eyes to my "daily" worship routines and extract meaning out of them.

e) Remembrance of Death and the afterlife: By Al Ghazali: This is a subject that most of us try not to think about. It is a really scary book at times. The journey after death is frightening for most Muslims, since we really don't know where we are going to end up. To simply proclaim you are Muslim is no guarantee for Heaven...scary but good stuff.

f) Usul ul Fiqh: By sh. Taha Alwani: I don't think I would have really "gotten" this book without the aid of some classes I had taken. He is a brilliant scholar, nuff said.

f) Crisis of the Muslim Mind: By AbdulHamid A. AbuSulayman: This book is one of those depressing looks at the current conditions of Muslim, where we came from, a historical journey of our decline and some suggestions (from an academic view point) on what we need to do for our rise.

g) The Four Imams: Abu Zahra: This book is really thick, but a surprisingly easy read. It traces the journey of the four Imams (Abu Hanifa, Malik, Shafi, and Hanbali), their lives, works, influences etc. It is relevant when exploring the issue of Madhahib, taqleed, etc.

h) Purification of the Soul: Alghazali and others: This is the "Tazkiya" manual per se (at least my introduction to the topic). I love it. You must read it, nuff said :)

i)Invocation of God: by Ibnul Qayyim: This book was a little dense (I had to read some parts twice to get it):but definitely worth the effort. He has a way (reminiscent of Al Ghazali) that speaks to the soul and awaken your yearning to be closer to Allah.

j) Western Muslims and the future of Islam: By Tariq Ramadhan: I think Tariq Ramadhan is brilliant, relevant and writes for people who actually live in this time/space/age. It is very rare to come across scholars that are not stuck in the past (or not of the past). I like this book more than To be a European Muslim, because it has more practical parts rather than just theory.

l) Muhammadan Revelation: (Can't remember the author): another awesome comparative religion type book, that contrasts the Quran against the Bible, Torah, etc. It also contrasts the definitions of Prophets, Revelation, etc. I really enjoyed it, very scholarly work.

m)Javid Nama: Iqbal: This is a long poem, kind of a soul's journey through time and space, really deep and I am not sure I even got it all.

n) Companions of the Prophet (SAW) 1 and 2: This is a light read, very anecdotal, I enjoyed it because of that. It is nice to catch a glimpse of the companion's lives and serves as an inspiration too.

Okay this is it for now ladies and gentlemen...more to come Inshaallah:) Happy Reading:)

posted by Maliha 12/22/2005 09:28:00 AM

. . .

Assalamu Alaykum,

The Profundity of our heedlessness:

"What is stupor or unconsiousness in this probationary life will be the opening of the eyes to the spiritual world: for death is the Gateway between the two. Once through the Gateway, man will realise how the things which he neglected or looked upon as remote are the intimate Realities, and the things which seemed to loom large in the eyes of this world were shadows that have fled. The things we wanted to avoid are the things that have really come to pass. Both Good and Evil will realise the Truth now in its intensity."

-notes on Surah Qaf, verse 19. by Abdullah Yusuf Ali.

posted by Maliha 12/22/2005 09:04:00 AM

. . .

Assalamu Alaykum,

Book Review: Meeting the Challenges of Parenting in the West
by: Dr. Ekram Beshir and Mohammed Rida Beshir

It was a really breezy read Mashaallah. I enjoyed the authors' (husband and wife team effort) style: its light, anecdotal and the chapters flow pretty seamlessly. There were a couple of pointers that made me stop and actually reflect upon them. I like the way they stressed on Mercy and Love as the overriding principle in raising children anywhere.

There were Seven chapters and I will give a quick synopsis of each:

First the word of the day is:

Tarbiyya: Teaching the art of dealing properly with human nature at various levels and situation, thus ensuring a person's balanced upbringing that fulfills the prupose of her/her creation as stipulated by Allah. (Nurturing balanced individuals?)

a) Objectives of Tarbiyya: The first chapter provides a theoretical orientation from the Quran and Sunnah on what our responsibilities are. The end result the authors argue is to bring up both a righteous *and* happy individual.

b) Basic principles for Tarbiyya: Here some child psychology theories are introduced as well as training methods such as Mercy, no favoritism, brevity in preaching, encouragement, step by step according to level, communication/listening techniques, anger management, cooperation, consistency, etc.

c) Environment: Peer pressure, society and support mechanisms.

d) Ways and means of Tarbiyya: Leadership, admonition, punishment, storytelling, habituation, energy utilization, and events.

e) Case Studies: Realistic scenarios

f) Synopsis of Case Studies: How to deal with above scenarious

g) Meet our family: Their daughters write about their growing up experiences

Some things I really liked about the book:

• Emphasis on Mercy and love
• Emphasis on Knowing the environment
• Did not assume all children would be homeschooled/Islamic schooled and actually dealt with how to make public school work for your child.
• Provides some tips/pointers that are realistic for new parents to grasp: Such as don't threaten to punish with an unexecutable punishment such as "I will leave you on the highway" etc. ; intentions are not enough seek knowledge/training; don't overprotect etc.
• It is cute how they incorporate their daughters' poetry, anecdotes, and feelings in the book (its truly a family project).

Things that could have been improved:

• I kept thinking I wanted more! At some points especially when dealing with the environment I felt like it was lacking in analysis and depth.
  
• I was surprised they didn't even discuss the schooling options?! Homeschooling vs Islamic/public etc. I would think that is a huge portion of tarbiyya no?
• I am sure the authors daughters and family are amazing: but at some point my cynical side was like it was just too "perfect". May Allah increase them in awesomeness: but at some points i just couldn't relate my imperfect/average family to them.
• The case studies/and analysis don't need whole chapters (perhaps the space could go back to the analysis?)

Overall, it was a good read for starters. There are lots of mainstream parenting books out there that could augment/complement this one.

Happy reading :)

posted by Maliha 12/16/2005 09:09:00 PM

. . .

Assalamu Alaykum,

In the Meantime...

Reading this right after the break of dawn, gave me goosebumps...its truly amazing Mashaallah.

'Adhaan...an amazing phenomenon'

Have a look at a map of the world and you will find Indonesia on the eastern side of the earth. the major cities of Indonesia are: Java, Sumatra, Borneo and Saibil. as soon as dawn breaks on the eastern side of Saibil, at approximately 5:30 am local time, fajar azaan begins.

thousands of muazzins in Indonesia begin reciting the azaan. the process advances towards west Indonesia, one-and-a-half hours after the azaan has been completed in Saibil, it echoes in Jakarta. Sumatra then follows suit and before this auspicious process of calling azaan ends in Indonesia, it has already begun in Malaysia.

Burma is next in line, and within an hour of its beginning in Jakarta, it reaches Dacca, the capital city of Bangladesh. after Bangladesh, it has already prevailed in western India, from Calcutta to Srinagar. It then advances towards Bombay and the entire environment of India resounds with this proclamation. Srinagar and Sialkot (a city in northern Pakistan) have the same timing for azaan.

the time difference between Sialkot, Quetta, and Karachi is forty minutes, and within this time, fajar azaan is heard throughout Pakistan. Before it ends there, it has already begun in Afghanistan and Muscat. the time difference between Muscat and Baghdad is one hour. azaan resounds during this one hour in the environment of Hijaaz-e-Muqaddas (Holy Cities of Makkah and Madinah), Yemen, United Arab Emirates, Kuwait and Iraq.

the time difference between Baghdad and Alexandria in Egypt is again one hour. azaan continues to resound in Syria, Egypt, Somalia and Sudan during this hour. The time difference between eastern and western Turkey is one-and-a-half hours, and during this time it is echoed with the call to prayer. Alexandria and Tripoli (capital of Libya) are located at one hour's difference.

the process of calling azaan thus continues throughout the whole of Africa. therefore, the proclamation of Tawheed and Risaalat that had begun in Indonesia reaches the shores of the atlantic ocean after nine-and-a-half hours.

prior to the azaan reaching the shores of the atlantic, the process of zohar azaan has already started in east indonesia, and before it reaches Dacca, asar azaan has started. this has hardly reached Jakarta one-and-a-half hours later, the time of maghrib becomes due, and no sooner has magrib time reached Sumatra, the time for calling Ishaa azaan has commenced in Saibil!

when the muazzins of Indonesia are calling out fajar azaan, the African muazzins are calling the azaan for Ishaa.

If we were to ponder over this phenomenon thoughtfully, we would conclude the amazing fact that there is not a single moment when hundreds-of-thousands of muazzins around the world are not reciting the azaan on the surface of this earth. even as you read this material right now, you can be sure there are at least thousands of people who are hearing and reciting the azaan!

(posted on: Al Madinah Discussion Board )

posted by Maliha 12/16/2005 07:37:00 AM

. . .

Assalamu Alaykum,

Stay tuned...

I just got my two orders in:

a)Educating Your Child in Modern Times : Raising and Intelligent, Sovereign, Ethical Human Being- by John Gatto and Hamza Yusuf (CD)

b) Meeting the Challenges of Parenting in the West- by the Beshirs. (Book)

I am especially excited about listening to the set of CD's. First of all, I absolutely love the title "Raising an intelligent..." It's one of my biggest weaknesses, to buy books (in this case CD) with really catchy titles. I have been stuck with many a crappy book with really flowery titles..sigh. I hope this will not be a dissapointment.

I know Sh. Hamza Yusuf has his extreme followers (both Haters and groupies); but I have always enjoyed listening to him. I appreciate his depth and critiques; I like how his talks are very context specific and living in the West it is important to know how to integrate our religion, ethics and belief in an intelligent way in this unique setting.

I plan to write a bit of reflections and highlights on here in the next couple of days...I hope you may find it of use; and if you don't have children yet it's never quite too early to start learning anyway:)

posted by Maliha 12/13/2005 08:31:00 PM

. . .

Assalamu Alaykum,

distant times...

I don't know why, but since I had Sufyan, I have been haunted by a deep sense of my own mortality. Of course, I always knew I was going to die someday, but witnessing how far we have come, drives the point into the deep dredges of my heart...

This life is really too short.

There is nothing original about that statement, but the stark reality of it, is not easily digested. I reflect back to my elementary days and nothing but hazy memories remain. Little wisps of clouds floating by, my first walk, first word, first fight, first crush, first prayer... all melt into each other in dreamlike sequence. What seemed to be the "world" at that time, what was so gravely important to me at any given moment, has lost its shape...nothing remains but fragmented whispers and images of a time gone by too quickly.

I have lived on three continents and travelled many miles.

Yet, each chapter of my "many lives" seem to crumble to meaninglessness.

Did all that really happen?

It is wild that I can't even seem to remember what I did in any random year. Last week? Last month? Where did the morning go?

The cyclical nature of life keeps reaffirming itself to me. My baby, so helpless, so vulnerable, utterly dependent on me; is but a mere reflection of those who are blessed enough to live really long and come back to the same state of dependency, helplessness, and vulnerability.

What is it that we are constantly fighting for?

I feel like I am at a small apex; at this very moment; holding on to strands of my youth, health, and every blessing but knowing very well that each one is not for me to keep. Realizing the weight of the responsibility I have on me; for this borrowed time.

I don't have many miles to keep...

yet how can I distance myself from this illusory sense of well-being? From a future that seems really long and forever; when in reality its not? From petty concerns that are really superficial and insignifcant but seem to consume me at any given moment? From these numbing songs of apathy and procrastination lulling me into a false sense of contentment with my self?

It is like I literally "wake up" at random points in my life and wonder "what am I doing?"...i know better than that yet...

I only wish to wed my knowledge to my deeds; forever; permanently; sealed.

Cycles; ups and downs; and awareness strikes at the oddest moments...we really ultimately wake up only to realize that we have died and it's really, horrifyingly-

too late.

posted by Maliha 12/11/2005 10:08:00 AM

. . .

Assalamu Alaykum,

For the Love of the Arts...

A drop of water to a physicist encapsulates mysteries waiting to be deciphered. From a single drop, he/she can deduce how much force is needed to keep it together, what the surface tension is, and other properties needed to enhance our understanding of the nature of water.

To an engineer, all the theories a physicist comes up with can result in practical manifestations of bridges, pipes, dams etc.

A poet reflects on that single cascading drop of water and sees a tear drop on the cheek of an innocent child or gathers it in rainy mists on summer nights...it may gush out memories of sadness, pain, or inexpressible joy. All from a single drop of water.

There isn't a single "right" or "wrong" way to analyze this particular phenomenon (which is a miniscule example of a universe bursting forth to be 'read'). And mirroring the diversity in creation is the minds and dispositions God endowed humans to study with. To some, the world is full of exciting symmetry and parallels, equations just waiting to be uncovered. Others (male or female) are endowed with sensitive souls, intuitive minds and expressive hearts. Others still, are more cognizant of the need to understand history and study the nature of humans...many are fascinated with geology, astronomy, anatomy, and so on.

There isn't a single field that is "lesser" than the others or a single soul that has no contribution to make. For every bit of creation was created for a purpose, so are all of us. This gets a little tricky for Muslims to day. Because to some of us, if it doesn't have something to do with religion directly (study of Jursiprudence, Hadith, etc) then it must necessarily be trite and worthless at
best, and leading to Hell fire at worst.

Then we have to wonder, what happened to the curiosity that made us inventors of Chemistry, Algebra, Astronomy etc. Where is the zeal that made Al Ghazali argue with the best of Philosophers and Jurists alike? Where do we even draw the line between what is overtly "religious" and what is not, for isn't all of life simply a manifesation of the Creator? And who dares to draw the line between the study of His creation, on what is worthy to be studied and what is not?

But this post is not about the "state" of Muslims, or our skewed sense of self, or even our misplaced ethics. This post is about something we have lost along the way...

The love of arts for me is deep and personal. For while I can read a line in history texts that talks dryly of "slavery (insert dates)" or "Colonization (insert dates)"; only from the rich literary sources do I hear the struggling voices, do I perceive the devastation of souls, do I swallow the bitterness of the trauma hidden in those lines. I have learned much of humanity's past,
battles, and triumphs, not from "objective" sources but estranged voices seeking for a space to be heard.

While there are very few people that control what goes in the official his-story books; the avenues for dissent are numerous. Poets, novelists,painters, and others have spawned centuries of resistance, mourning all that has been lost and fanning the fires of the idealist heart. Perhaps, what I admire most in this works, is the intrinsic knowledge that in such a complex universe nothing is simply black and white; there are many shades of grey...that no evil portrayed is absolute as is the myth of unadulterated righteousness debunked.

Are these mediums corruptible? If the widespread print of useless, trashy, superficially entertaining books has anything to say; is that writing like any other form of media can be either of value or not. It is up to the reader, the "consumer" per se, of these books/media to choose what is worth their time.

I think it is really sad that as Muslims we don't have a wealth of literature; at least in the English language. The lack of our participation in the arts, is affecting us on deep levels. To understand that something as seemingly benign as a poem, or a well crafted novel, can be a powerful weapon in the "war of ideas" is really essential. That perhaps somewhere in the darkest corners, a candle is lit, and a heart awakened to the existence of such beauty as willing
submission to the Most Compassionate and Most Merciful.

We have at our disposal a venue to counter the dehumanization of Muslims and the well plotted desecration of Islam. That perhaps armed resistance may be called for in certain contexts, but the proverbial power of the pen (and intellect) remains far more effective in others. To be able to resist with beauty and poise adds that much integrity to our cause.

All the richness and beauty of creation is rendered eloquence in the Quran. I learned my first feel for poetry, timeless rhythm,and a sense of sublime appeal to all my senses at a tender age through its pages. I was awed then, as I am often, by how the Most Powerful, Most Magnificent Creator can speak to us in such soft heart rending tones. Each line of the Quran, and even the ones that challenge, scare, and beseech us, is wrapped in Mercy. It is this attribute of God, the Most Merciful, that brings me to my hands and knees in prostration; i have no defenses left in the face of such incredible Compassion.

Even with the tides turned against Muslims, there is a subtle awakening in the masses. People are learning about Islam (whether because of or inspite of us) and "born" Muslims are slowly reviving their interest in the deen. No renaissance would be complete however, without a restoration of the arts.

Go do something awesome today...write, draw, or paint something; creative,beautiful, soulful and share your humanity with the world.

posted by Maliha 12/05/2005 11:35:00 AM

. . .

Assalam Alaykum,

Coffee and Adulthood...

“You see we have a Brazilian environment and that really attracts people”, the coffee house owner grandly waved around, obviously very proud of his business. I hesitated a little, and nodded murmuring in assent. I looked around surreptitiously at the stark walls, modern bright Ikea lights, and wicker chairs placed around little glass tables and tried in vain to picture Brazil. My gaze trailed to the two mechanical waterfalls gracing the walls, I unconsciously wrapped my coat tighter against the sudden cold chill I felt.

Isn’t Brazil supposed to be hot?

To be fair there was that Jewelry case displaying presumably Brazilian necklaces; and a few authentic meat pies and snacks from the region. But that was about it.

I liked the new owners enough to hide my disappointment, they were gregarious and down to earth, and possibly the only real evidence of Brazil in the room. This was the neighborhood coffee shop. An alternative to the big name, chain store, “cozy” coffee shops. Yet another hallmark of suburbia, bland décor scrubbed and packaged to represent vestiges of the exotic.

>>>

She sat across me. It was the second time I noticed how small the glass tables really were. I avoided her gaze. We talked of small things. Nit picked around the taste of the coffee, the surprising richness of the dessert. Our mouths moved. We laughed a little too loud. We moved around the smooth edges of the conversation, gauging, listening, and talking and managing not say a word the whole time.

It was fun. We should do it again. Maybe.

I reached out, my eyes finding hers “I just wanted you to know…” I began awkwardly, “that I will be there for you. You know…no matter what” She nodded and smiled.

It is tricky business this in-law thing, and I had little experience around the politics of it all.

Am I being too pushy? Distant? Am I sincere enough?

I broke the gaze all too soon, for fear of what my eyes will express.

It is getting cold outside. I hate winter. We resumed our chitchat long enough for politeness sake.

The real words were never spoken, yet I felt fragile threads of an unspoken truce slowly being woven.

With a brief perfunctory hug we parted ways. A smile. A wave. Crunching leaves greeting our steps.

I left breathing a little lighter.

So this is the stuff adulthood is made out of…

posted by Maliha 12/01/2005 11:22:00 PM

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